He said in this chapter to let "God's love" and "Christ endurance" direct your hearts. Often God's love causes us to do the things that feel unloving sometimes. Definitely it is the case when you have someone close to you who is choosing to walk away from God. I can't imagine what it would be like for a husband or wife! I do feel the pain of a family member. It is a horrible reality.
I know of at least three different books that Paul wrote where he encourages putting distance between yourself and anyone who chooses to not follow Christ. Not at all meaning unbelievers, but specifically meaning those "believers" who continue on the path contrary to Christ. It is a hard thing to do but I am confident that is what the bible teaches. It is in the disassociation that the person is to feel appropriate "shame" and hopefully repent.
Tough words. Hard words.
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